Vonkfarnul is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, benevolent scorpion.

Vonkfarnul created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfarnul, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vonkfarnul, she will turn you into a hamster.

Vonkfarnul's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Vonkfarnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not covet oxen.