Fubtoncam is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, conceited dragon.

Fubtoncam created the Cigar Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Fubtoncam, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fubtoncam, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fubtoncam's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Fubtoncam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Hide from purple aardvarks for they are unholy.

3. Fubtoncam loves ducks, so they must be respected.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.