Dadhivonk is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tranquil finch.

Dadhivonk created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadhivonk, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dadhivonk, he will refuse to believe in you.

Dadhivonk's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Dadhivonk's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Do not kill tortoises.

5. Never bounce in holy places.