Gutrutpon is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, prudent lobster.

Gutrutpon created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutrutpon, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gutrutpon, he will think nothing of it.

Gutrutpon's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Gutrutpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never run near mites.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always wear black.