Tofwiphog is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, generous whale.

Tofwiphog created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofwiphog, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tofwiphog, she will refuse to believe in you.

Tofwiphog's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Tofwiphog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tofwiphog.

4. Retreat if eight mice approach from the west.

5. Tofwiphog must be the most important thing in your life.