Konyimced is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthinking elephant.

Konyimced created the Sol system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Konyimced, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Konyimced, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Konyimced's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Konyimced's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about birds.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. You must pray to Konyimced nine times a day.

5. Fast once a month.