Quamlakflow is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, emotional capybara.

Quamlakflow created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamlakflow, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quamlakflow, she will not invite you to parties.

Quamlakflow's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Quamlakflow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never jump near porpoises.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.