Arftimlop is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, all-knowing swan.

Arftimlop created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Arftimlop, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Arftimlop, she will turn you into a tree.

Arftimlop's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Arftimlop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt doves.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Never think ill of sick badgers.

4. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.