Gumjadcad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-confident salamander.

Gumjadcad created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumjadcad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gumjadcad, it will turn you into a puffin.

Gumjadcad's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Gumjadcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Never talk about fire.