Nelyarlsas is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, boastful eagle.

Nelyarlsas created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelyarlsas, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nelyarlsas, it will turn you into a mole.

Nelyarlsas' most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Nelyarlsas' Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Nelyarlsas.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Snails are not to be trusted.

4. Never sing near pigs.

5. Never eat bark.