Caprutmat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, idiotic goose.

Caprutmat created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Caprutmat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Caprutmat, she will think nothing of it.

Caprutmat's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Caprutmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Run away if three doves approach from the south.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Always treat otters with great respect.