Hitfodtof is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, annoying shark.

Hitfodtof created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitfodtof, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hitfodtof, she will throw large rocks at you.

Hitfodtof's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Hitfodtof's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven porpoises approach from the west.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not speak about lentils.

5. You must never eat bread.