Bestgarpib is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, loving hydra.

Bestgarpib created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestgarpib, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bestgarpib, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Bestgarpib's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Bestgarpib's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bestgarpib.

2. Never mention aardvarks.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Erect three iron sculptures of Bestgarpib on top of important buildings.

5. Do not stand on grass.