Latwadsom is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, slow gorilla.

Latwadsom created water eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latwadsom, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Latwadsom, she will turn you into a sheep.

Latwadsom's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Latwadsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Never think ill of sick sheep.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Latwadsom must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never eat bark.