Kab is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, tiresome raccoon.

Kab created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kab, it will manifest in front of you.

Kab's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Kab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never sing in the presence of monkeys.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not chop down trees.