Satsawvag is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, pitiless jackal.

Satsawvag created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satsawvag, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Satsawvag, he will be very sad.

Satsawvag's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Satsawvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Worship no other gods but Satsawvag.

3. Retreat if nine whales approach from the west.

4. Always look after injured frogs.

5. Never look at comets.