Metrillbifhen is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, charitable parrot.

Metrillbifhen created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metrillbifhen, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Metrillbifhen, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Metrillbifhen's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Metrillbifhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.