Largsandstik is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, almighty dryad.

Largsandstik created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largsandstik, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Largsandstik, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Largsandstik's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Largsandstik's Holy Commandments

1. Largsandstik must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Worship no other gods but Largsandstik.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Run away from purple ants, for they are unholy.