Jonlakmitfot is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, dishonourable lion.

Jonlakmitfot created a strange quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonlakmitfot, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jonlakmitfot, it will cry a lot.

Jonlakmitfot's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Jonlakmitfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of voles.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never go into black rooms.