Fobwaplib is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, unthinking hyena.

Fobwaplib created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fobwaplib, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fobwaplib, he will turn you into a puffin.

Fobwaplib's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Fobwaplib's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four capybaras approach from the west.

2. Never paint your legs black.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never jump near otters.