Kamwonkam is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, flying scorpion.

Kamwonkam created the planet Mars three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kamwonkam, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kamwonkam, she will turn you into a rat.

Kamwonkam's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Kamwonkam's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Kamwonkam loves mice, so they must be respected.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never jump near doves.