Kipbonkbeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, smart spider.

Kipbonkbeg created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipbonkbeg, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kipbonkbeg, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kipbonkbeg's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Kipbonkbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.