Gumstigraw is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, annoying salamander.

Gumstigraw created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Gumstigraw, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gumstigraw, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Gumstigraw's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gumstigraw's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gumstigraw four times a day.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always obey Gumstigraw's priests.