Taphudten is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, all-powerful weasel.

Taphudten created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Taphudten, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Taphudten, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Taphudten's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Taphudten's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. You must love Taphudten.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always help monkeys in need.

5. Never think ill of sick squirrels.