Kikfutxuctiflamtik is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, witty skunk.

Kikfutxuctiflamtik created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikfutxuctiflamtik, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kikfutxuctiflamtik, he will turn you into a duck.

Kikfutxuctiflamtik's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Kikfutxuctiflamtik's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about frogs.

3. Never skip near shrews.

4. Always obey Kikfutxuctiflamtik's priests.

5. Never mention sheep.