Tonktabvaglip is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, almighty ferret.

Tonktabvaglip created the Black Eye Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonktabvaglip, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tonktabvaglip, it will make you grow a tail.

Tonktabvaglip's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Tonktabvaglip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tonktabvaglip's name in vain.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tonktabvaglip.

4. Run away if nine swans approach from the east.

5. Never look at black holes.