Narratbarn is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, irritating chicken.

Narratbarn created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Narratbarn, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Narratbarn, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Narratbarn's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Narratbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Narratbarn loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Narratbarn loves cats, so they must be honoured.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.