Pogyikkimpark is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, deceitful monkey.

Pogyikkimpark created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogyikkimpark, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pogyikkimpark, it will not invite you to parties.

Pogyikkimpark's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Pogyikkimpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms orange.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

4. Never laugh in the presence of snakes.

5. Dogs are not to be trusted.