Nullopcud Vansigven is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, clever turtle.

Nullopcud Vansigven created the Virgo Supercluster three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nullopcud Vansigven, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nullopcud Vansigven, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Nullopcud Vansigven's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nullopcud Vansigven's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Nullopcud Vansigven.

2. Run away from purple hamsters, for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about rats.

4. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never mention ants.