Dapdogyik Bushaszak is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, happy walrus.

Dapdogyik Bushaszak created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapdogyik Bushaszak, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dapdogyik Bushaszak, it will turn you into a tree.

Dapdogyik Bushaszak's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Dapdogyik Bushaszak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick sheep.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about fire.