Matdubfum is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, clever tapir.

Matdubfum created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matdubfum, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Matdubfum, she will send you a sign.

Matdubfum's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Matdubfum's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat cherries.

3. Matdubfum loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

4. Never hurt monkeys.

5. Never think about galaxies.