Hasmildit is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, humorless chinchilla.

Hasmildit created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Hasmildit, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hasmildit, he will torture you forever.

Hasmildit's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Hasmildit's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near geese.

2. Feed all hungry snails.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always obey Hasmildit's priests.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.