Wothimwot is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, proud monkey.

Wothimwot created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wothimwot, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Wothimwot, she will turn you into a goat.

Wothimwot's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Wothimwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Wothimwot must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Hide from violet ants for they are unholy.

5. Never pour water over plants.