Geparmril is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, wise hamster.

Geparmril created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Geparmril, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Geparmril, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Geparmril's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Geparmril's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mice in need.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

5. Geparmril loves tortoises, so they must be respected.