Gofyamort is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, thoughtless seal.

Gofyamort created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofyamort, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gofyamort, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gofyamort's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Gofyamort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect three carbon sculptures of Gofyamort on top of important buildings.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not kill voles.