Flisarnjat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish jackal.

Flisarnjat created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Flisarnjat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flisarnjat, he will manifest in front of you.

Flisarnjat's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Flisarnjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.