Nellnarpig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid gerbil.

Nellnarpig created the Black Eye Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Nellnarpig, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nellnarpig, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nellnarpig's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Nellnarpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never eat coconuts.

5. Feed all hungry horses.