Nanlimcuss is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, pitiless squid.

Nanlimcuss created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nanlimcuss, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nanlimcuss, he will make you grow a tail.

Nanlimcuss' most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Nanlimcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Always help sick great tits.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.