Weetetti is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, tranquil toad.

Weetetti created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Weetetti, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Weetetti, it will destroy your favourite star.

Weetetti's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Weetetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat aubergines.

2. Always help ducks.

3. Put Weetetti first in all things.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.