Funlapquill is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, blissful yak.

Funlapquill created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funlapquill, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Funlapquill, he will cry a lot.

Funlapquill's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Funlapquill's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

2. Do not take Funlapquill's name in vain.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Funlapquill on top of all buildings.

5. Funlapquill loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.