Lanpidfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish narwhal.

Lanpidfoss created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanpidfoss, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lanpidfoss, she will try to impress you with trees.

Lanpidfoss' most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Lanpidfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Always help voles in need.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Hide if seven otters approach from the south.