Quimnelcetlidyakfitkomfot is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omniscient dove.

Quimnelcetlidyakfitkomfot created Asia three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimnelcetlidyakfitkomfot, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quimnelcetlidyakfitkomfot, he will manifest in front of you.

Quimnelcetlidyakfitkomfot's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Quimnelcetlidyakfitkomfot's Holy Commandments

1. Put Quimnelcetlidyakfitkomfot first in all things.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always treat geese with great respect.

4. Always wear white.

5. Run away from orange aardvarks, for they are unholy.