Quafhatpig Wanbab Mutmanlinlabrut is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, duplicitous lizard.

Quafhatpig Wanbab Mutmanlinlabrut created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafhatpig Wanbab Mutmanlinlabrut, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quafhatpig Wanbab Mutmanlinlabrut, she will turn you into a dog.

Quafhatpig Wanbab Mutmanlinlabrut's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Quafhatpig Wanbab Mutmanlinlabrut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three platinum sculptures of Quafhatpig Wanbab Mutmanlinlabrut on top of important buildings.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

5. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.