Witmotgil is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, temperamental bat.

Witmotgil created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witmotgil, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Witmotgil, he will turn you into a dog.

Witmotgil's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Witmotgil's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat nuts.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not speak about rice.