Jabpigtag Milgudmigdimappmisyak is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, humane spider.

Jabpigtag Milgudmigdimappmisyak created the Sol system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabpigtag Milgudmigdimappmisyak, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jabpigtag Milgudmigdimappmisyak, he will turn you into a worm.

Jabpigtag Milgudmigdimappmisyak's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Jabpigtag Milgudmigdimappmisyak's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Do not sit in public.