Tiphongep is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, clever hummingbird.

Tiphongep created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiphongep, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tiphongep, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tiphongep's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Tiphongep's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Hide from fawn great tits for they are unholy.

3. Do not dye your hair pink.

4. Never mention ants.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.