Logkapwik is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, blissful octopus.

Logkapwik created the planet Venus three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Logkapwik, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Logkapwik, it will try to impress you with trees.

Logkapwik's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Logkapwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Logkapwik loves mice, so they must be respected.

5. Do not take Logkapwik's name in vain.