Gabfitnat is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, boastful octopus.

Gabfitnat created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabfitnat, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gabfitnat, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gabfitnat's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Gabfitnat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

3. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Feed all hungry capybaras.