Damjaptaf is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, dishonourable alligator.

Damjaptaf created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Damjaptaf, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Damjaptaf, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Damjaptaf's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Damjaptaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Damjaptaf nine times a day.

2. Hide if six frogs approach from the south.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never write about planets.