Haktiktunyogmatcebfun is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, two-faced armadillo.

Haktiktunyogmatcebfun created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Haktiktunyogmatcebfun, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Haktiktunyogmatcebfun, she will turn you into a frog.

Haktiktunyogmatcebfun's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Haktiktunyogmatcebfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Haktiktunyogmatcebfun's name in vain.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Haktiktunyogmatcebfun loves goats, so they must be respected.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.